- My son loves his father and his father loves him. There's no denying that.
- D. does not try to back out of his parental duties and would (and has!) gladly taken our son on extra days whenever I've asked (maybe to study, go out of town for work, or just have the occasional night out with girlfriend whose custody/visitation schedule is opposite of mine) and his schedule has allowed
- He's involved--whether that be as the football coach, Scout Leader, MVP (Men Volunteering @ P******- the school where my son goes) member, or all around Daddy of the Year, he's active and involved in our son's life.
- He doesn't tolerate Ty disrespecting me--even though D. finds no fault whatsoever in disrespecting me in front of Ty, he at least steps in whenever Ty is being especially sassy, disrespectful or just an all-around Pain in the Ass. At times, I feel like D. is underestimating my ability to handle my own son, but I
knowthink that he's doing it more from the place where he knows that boys shouldn't treat women that way. Great job, Mama to the D. . you did a wonderful job in teaching your son that he can disrespect the mother of his child in front of said child but that the child should never show his mother disrespect. Makes perfect sense. In any regard, I'm thankful that he doesn't allow Ty to show me disrespect. Even if it does mean that I have to explain to Ty later why Daddy said the same thing and he didn't get in trouble. . ."No, honey. . .it's just that Mommy has recognized that your Daddy is a total asshat. But Mommy wants better for you. And for my future Daughter-in-Law. So, do as Daddy says. . not as Daddy does. Mmmkay, Baby?"
- While I do not get any child support from D., he is usually pretty good about reimbursing me any medical expenses that Ty has that I've had to pay out of pocket. It's not always paid back in a timely manner but as long as I keep the proof to remind him that he owes it, he usually pays it. I wish D. had a better sense of style and could dress our son a little bit better (or recognize when Ty needs new clothes because he's outgrown the old ones) but at least he buys clothes for Ty to keep at his house and doesn't put the burden on me or expect me to pack a bag for Ty to go over to his house every other weekend.
- In relation to the last point, D. has even paid for activities for Ty to participate in that I simply can't afford at the time. Typically, if D. wants Ty to do something (usually a sport) and I can't afford to pay the extra costs involved, D. will pick it up if he's able. Granted, I may get reminded 48123571125840 times of his immense generosity in doing so but at least Ty still gets to participate in these activities whereas he might not have if his father wanted to stick to the "split it or forget it" mentality.
- Ty has a great time when he's with his dad. Sure, he misses me when he's there and he misses his Dad when he's with me, but I'm fairly confident that he is happy and secure when he's at either house. I thank God that my son doesn't get upset when he's got to go to his house and I'm very thankful that I don't have to witness that kind of emotion. It would absolutely break my heart.
- I don't have some crazy new girlfriend/wife/mistress/hoebag/bitch that I have to encounter or battle with. Yet, at least.
- As of yet, there has not been some sort of knock down drag out custody battle which has made me want to serve consecutive roundhouse kicks to D's crotch and slash the tires on any one of his multiple prized vehicular babies. For the most part (notice that I didn't say "in absolute total completion" or anything else that had valid finality to it. . .because this rodeo sure as hell hasn't been without its bucked off cowboys--that bull can be a bitch when it wants to be), we've been fairly civil with one another and have (mostly) seen eye to eye in how we wanted to proceed regarding our son. I cross my fingers that it remains this way but I have to find a healthy balance between agreeing with him for the sake of our son in whats fair and right and placating him just to avoid what could be (or would be--this Single Mama can spit fire and poke some eyeballs out if she's backed into a corner--there's a reason why my son refers to me as the "Mommy Dragon"!) a nasty court battle. Let's just play nice in the sandbox and we won't have to go there. Mmmmkay?
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Thank God for (Not Always So) Little Blessings
As I have started to settle into this Single Mom thing, I've started really paying attention to the situations of other single moms (Note to Single Dads: Dude, I get that you guys are out there. Hell, if you're reading my blog, I'm THRILLED. I mean absolutely no disrespect in always referring to something as a "single mom" issue, but for me, that's what it is. I'm sure you encounter many of the same issues as us single gals. And for that, we love you. We respect you. And we beg for your forgiveness. Thanks!) around me. Right now, I'm being more observant than participatory in nature but I'm noticing that even though our "situation" of being a single mom might be shared, our actual situations with our baby daddy (or daddies?) are all very different. So, in trying to find something positive to post in what feels like a very unpositive time in my life, I will share this. A list of the sometimes tiny, sometimes not so tiny blessings in my single mom life right now: