Tuesday, April 17, 2012

April A to Z Challenge: O

O = Optimistic

This post falls on the most perfect (or ironic?) of days.  You see, I'm having a breast biopsy done in a couple of hours to try to get to the bottom of a health issue (scare) that I've been dealing with for the last few weeks.  During a routine OB-GYN appt, my doctor found a lump in one of my breasts that she was concerned about.  So, she ordered an ultra sound.  Coming from a family of women who seem to have the lumpies and bumpies in the chest bump area, I tried not to be too concerned.  Plus, I didn't have a million other things already going on in my hectic life or anything (sarcasm).  However, at the ultrasound for the boobie bump issue, I learned that the initial lump that landed me in the ultrasound hot seat actually wasn't anything to worry about.  Whew! 

However, there was something that they found that they are concerned about.  It's a solid mass that was hiding behind the non-issue cluster of cysts that my doctor originally felt and sent me off to get checked out.  So, today, I'm back for a biopsy.  I'm trying to be optimistic.  Let's put it this way: In my opinion, I have two choices in this matter. . .I can either freak the freak out and spend my time fretting over what may never happen OR I can try to positively self talk myself into believing that I'm fine and that I have no reason to worry until the doctor delivers news that there is, in fact, reason to worry.  I'm trying really hard to stay in the space of the latter.  That's not to say that I didn't have a mini freak out session this morning. . .because I did.  That's not to say that I didn't stare at a picture of my precious Baby Bear this morning and wonder if today was going to be a day that changed my life forever. . .because I did.  And, that's not to say that I didn't go through my filing cabinet last night just to reassure myself that I was appropriately covered by enough life insurance just in case anything were to come of it. . . .because I did.  But, now that I've done all of those things, I hope I can focus on just getting through today and figuring out what this thing is.  Right, wrong, or indifferent. . .I keep telling myself that 29 year olds don't have major breast issues and that this "mass" has no choice but to be benign.  How's that for being optimistic? 

Have you ever faced something that was scary and uncertain?  How did you get through it? 


  1. yes, too many to mention--my faith gets me through--i am hoping you will be fine

  2. I am trying harder to have your outlook on things. My husband asks me why I worry so much when things are completely out of my control and I foolishly answer, "Somebody has to." Somehow I get through things, I guess because one way or another, you have to.

  3. I just had a biopsy done, so I know how you are feeling. It is scary! For the pain..ice packs...all the time! Sending prayers your way.

  4. praying for you girlie! <3 i am sure this is so scary, i actually have something i need to get checked at the ob-gyn but havent had the nerve. :/ i am a big wuss i dont go to the dr unless i am deathly illlllll! and i know it. lol let us know how things go and keep that pretty little head up! i had no idea you were still updating this or i so would've been reading! miss your loadol updates--summer break is just in sight!