I realize that I haven't put my entire relationship story out there yet and I had intended this post to have a completely different spin. However, that's not how it turned out.
Over the last few weeks, D. and I had decided that we were going to attempt to work out our issues by going to counseling. This was, in my mind, my last ditch effort to try to salvage our relationship. When I asked him if he would be willing to go to counseling with me, he agreed immediately under the condition that I was asking him to go because I truly wanted to work on our relationship. He said that he didn't want to go if I was just trying to find a way to exit our relationship painlessly. Of course, that wasn't my intention. I wanted to work on us. I wanted to find a way so that we could (hopefully) be together in a happy and healthy way.
Tonight was supposed to be our first session together with a therapist. Unfortunately, that just isn't the way it turned out.
I still can't write too much about it because I'm in so much tremendous pain over it but I found out (with my own two eyes) over the weekend that D. wanted his cake and he wanted to eat it too. While he, apparently, wanted to maintain the control over me of knowing that I was still in love with him, he also wanted to have his fun. After catching him in a lie, I also caught him in bed with someone else. The last three days have honestly been the worst days of my life. However, I'm taking the steps that I need to take at this point to try to move on. I'm surrounded by good friends who are really trying to be there for me when I need them and I'm seeing a therapist to try to help me through the pain and trauma of what I'm going through.
Due to what I'm trying to navigate through right now, I may not post as often as I would like here. I've put a temporary suspension on posting over at Living on a Dime or Less but I'm hoping to be able to find the time and energy to post over here on Single Mama Stuff. My therapist is encouraging me to write as much as I can during this time so I'm looking at this blog as an outlet. I just need to get myself to the point where I can manage to eat and sleep on a normal schedule again before I can focus on writing.
While this side of my blog is still very new and very young, I truly appreciate all of the support that you have shown me so far. Please know that I need it more during this time than ever. Thank you for your comments and your words of encouragement!
Until next time. . .